i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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