As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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