VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
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drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
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Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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