thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Randomize