I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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