And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize