At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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