I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
worst night to have a conscience
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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