I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
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How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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