Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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