I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
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I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
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