Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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