she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
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I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
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I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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