My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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