Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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