I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize