You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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