I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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