we have officially lost it.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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