Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She even gives head with a lisp.
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If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
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Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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