I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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