GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize