I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize