my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize