I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize