Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
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WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
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we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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