I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
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I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
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I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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