Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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