so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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