I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize