Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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