I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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