theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You're like the curious george of whores
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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