So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize