last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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