I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize