If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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