i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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