I just saw a hot homeless man
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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