Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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