If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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