so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
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You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
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Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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