he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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