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I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
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