using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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