Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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