ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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