My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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