That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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