Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize