Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
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I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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